Posts by mrs rocky2

18

Shunning my Family

by Beans in

my cousins daughter was over visiting me this year and she pointed out something that i never would have thought.

she noticed how quiet i was around my family and asked if it was because they were jw`s.

i thought about it and i said yes it was!.

mrs rocky2

To D wiltshire: Thank you for the kinds words. There don't seem to be enough of them these days.

To Billygoat: I recall that you are part Asian (Japanese?)? like me? and is your dad the non-Asian, or your mom. My dad is a 'Japanese wannabe,' but not any Japanese at all. He likes a lot of the traditional Japanese values and customs, especially the traditional patriarchal family thing - fits with his controlling personality real well. Have a lot of respect for my mom tho'. She raised us kids without much help from dad (he was always at work or tending to elder things). She didn't speak or read English, didn't drive, and didn't have any blood family close by (she's the only one who came to the states). And she loves her grandkids ferociously. She knows I'm not going to meetings any more but hasn't told dad. And yes, my dad sounds just like yours - he always says he'll get mom on the phone right away! I love it! Of course, it's easy to avoid dealing with him when he lives a five hour drive away. We should talk sometime! I'm sure we'd have a lot in common...It's so nice knowing I'm not alone out here with the parent/JW stuff.

Mrs R

7

record stores / cd shops in Seattle

by DIM in

does anyone know of any good cd shops or record stores in the seattle area?

i just moved here and would like to know.

i collect alot of underground music and 70's rock (neil young type stuff).

mrs rocky2

DIM - If I remember correctly you're south of Seattle, Auburn or Kent? There's a Golden Oldies (buy, sell, trade new & used) on Rainier Ave S in Renton. If you want to hassle driving north of the ship canal (traffic's a bear through I-5 downtown corridor) there is another shop in the University District (right on the Ave at 42nd), Second Time Around Music Stereo and Video. They also have a store in Federal Way. My oldest loves Borders but there's only a couple of them around, one downtown, and one in Tacoma (look in the yellow pages under 'compact discs...').

18

Shunning my Family

by Beans in

my cousins daughter was over visiting me this year and she pointed out something that i never would have thought.

she noticed how quiet i was around my family and asked if it was because they were jw`s.

i thought about it and i said yes it was!.

mrs rocky2

To D Wiltshire: Thank you for the suggestion. Have already tried that. He got really, really angry. In fact, that was part of the problem when we initially tried to improve communication. Flat out told us that he is justified in being controlling because he is just following theocratic order. Not a drop of compassion because he following company rules. I'm not one for conflict so I either take the abuse of avoid contact. Quite frustrating really....

22

song #87

by blindfool in

jw
friends

so, how many of you woke up with this song in your head this morning?.

no matter how hard i try, it seems i can't get this song out of my head this morning.

"the bread stands for jesus christ body, he gave on behalf of us all.

mrs rocky2

You're gonna love this. Went to a workshop held in a Church of God Faith of Abraham church. Looked at their hymn book and was so surprised to find "We Thank You Jehovah." The dubs think their music is only in their songbook. LOL

18

Shunning my Family

by Beans in

my cousins daughter was over visiting me this year and she pointed out something that i never would have thought.

she noticed how quiet i was around my family and asked if it was because they were jw`s.

i thought about it and i said yes it was!.

mrs rocky2

This whole shunning thing is so interesting. A number of years ago, while still quite actively involved with the Borg, we set some boundaries for my dad. He didn't like the boundaries, and was even counseled by a fellow elder to just ignore the problem. As we had asked for no more weekly phones calls (the ones asking us why we weren't out in service, and why my hubby wasn't an elder yet), the communication just died. The kids still wrote letters to them (they live 300 miles away), but the answers from g'pa were one liners. Ten years have passed - when I call them he immediately puts my mom on the phone. He's told my sis that my hubby is 'evil, bad' and influencing me and the kids to hate him. So I guess we inadvertantly imposed a type of shunning. I don't want to practice shunning, which would bring me to their level, but it's just so uncomfortable having contact with him. He is in his little world, rather self-centered, focused on his self-importance (he's a PO with high up connections at the circuit level). We have nothing in common. I haven't right out told him that I'm through with JWs because I'm sure he would prevent mom from any contact with me. But I'm fairly certain he knows I'm no longer active. How do you keep from this type of shunning? He doesn't listen to reason. Strictly a company man, actually a little frightening (I've felt his temper through the end of a leather belt). I'm 40 something and he still has this emotional control over me. So for self-preservation I tend to avoid him. If anyone has any good suggestions I'm open to hearing them!

110

Memorial No Shows...Please Check in....

by ISP in

jw
friends

well, i was tempted but i decided not to go to the most bizarre religious ritual of modern times....how about you?.

isp

mrs rocky2

Was invited by former PO. Motherinlaw and other family members did not call or invite. This is my second year of not attending.

My sis, who lives a four hour drive from here, called to tell me her plans (I wasn't home yet) and called after memorial (I still wasn't home). She hasn't called back, nor have I called her. Think it's pretty funny that she hasn't called me for a couple of weeks until memorial night, even tho' I left her a message last weekend.

Enjoyed the posts about the "Fashion Show." We have always been too poor to go out and buy new outfits to "bury Jesus" as my husband calls it. Where I came from they used to dress to the nines - formal wear, hats, etc. Think my dad buys a new suit every year just for memorial (he's financially comfortable).

Misty: Last year, my oldest and I stayed home while the youngest and her father went. I remember looking at the clock at 8pm and saying out loud "we're not dead!" It was a strange evening for us. The oldest was just 18 and had never missed a memorial in her life. I have not missed ever, starting attending when I was 5 (I'm 40 something now). Next year you will feel better about missing. There are more meaningful ways to remember Jesus and not have to wait a whole year to express appreciation for what he has done. Thinking back on all those years, the talk was always the same - it seemed like people were just going through the motions, not really seriously appreciating the meaning of the event. Which is why I don't think the Dubs understand what Christ is all about. (That's a whole 'nother subject.) As for the 'friends', they've written us off a long time ago, even before we quit attending regularly. We have since developed much more meaningful friendships with people who have never been witnesses...very good people. They do exist. Best wishes to you in your journey out of the Borg!

16

Witnesses at Target

by Aunty in

jw
friends

is this happening anywhere else?

i'm in southern california and the jw's are sitting outside target at least twice a week with a table set up.

okay, when i was pioneering, this was a big no-no.

mrs rocky2

South Seattle Community College - there is a booth set up just for the Dubs, literature in many languages. The older ones in the congregations love sitting in the booth - no stairs, no rain. And yes, they mostly sit around. Haven't seen them at the shopping malls yet, although I think they are a fixture in downtown Seattle in front of the Bon Marche at Pine Street. Easy pioneer hours if you have comfortable shoes.

87

Life Is On the Hairy Edge

by AlanF in

jw
friends

got a call late this afternoon: "your daughter was in a car accident along with four other girls.

you need to come to the emergency room.".

daughter not there yet.

mrs rocky2

Alan and Julie:
(Knew I should have looked at this thread earlier!) My heart goes out to you...we worry about our girls all the time when they are on the road. Our youngestis on the road every day a couple of hours goes to school 40 miles from here. She's done well for a 17 year old, esp. with the snowy, icey winter driving. But I'm always on edge...if she's just a little late I start pacing. Hope your daughter's recovery goes well.

58

Ignorant Judgemental CO's and DO's

by Scully in

jw
friends

badwillie wrote the following experience about an ignorant comment from a do:.

case in point:.

a friend received a full scholarship from a local college to study to become a veternarian.

mrs rocky2

Hungry4life: I had a similar experience with the hot water, but it was the CO. We lived in a tiny apartment, no dining table, just a bar so you could see the stove from where we were eating. I heard the tea kettle start to boil, but didn't let it whistle. He made me dump the tea out and re-boil the water until the whistle screamed. Also, he criticized the meal I prepared - teriyaki chicken, including the backs, and rice (can't remember what else I served). We were extremely poor at the time. So we didn't waste anything. There were plenty of other pieces of chicken, I didn't insist he eat the backs - my hubbie was glad to eat backs, wings, whatever was left over after our guests were served. He implied by his comments that I insulted him by serving him rice. Being of a mixed Asian background rice is a staple in my diet. Needless to say, we didn't invite them back.

30

Rumors that they spread about you. When you left.

by jerome in

jw
friends

for some time now i have been reading numerous indivisual life stories relating to their experience with the jws and one obscure ( or at least not directly elabourated upon) detail keeps popping up.. it would appear that whenever a person leaves the organisation by da/df/ia that people take it upon themselves to start spreading "nasty rumours" about the person in question.. it always seems that so much of these said rumours that were frabicated and then propagated throught the local jw community that the poaster almost never seems to have time to goint any detail about what exactaly was said about them in detail.. i would like to invite the posters here on the board to shed some light on their experience regarding their reputation after leaving the kh.. it would appear that once disfelloshipped that the jw community must make it abundantly clear that the person is of absolutely deplorable character inorder to justify their inhumane treatment of the df'ed indivisual.

saying that there is no honourable way to leave the oragnisation this seems to be rather common place.. i am also informed that even if the df'ed person were permitted to return that their reputation within the jw community would never be the same due to the tarnishing of their name and the stigma attached to being df'ed.. i may not be entirely too shure about this one but it would seem that if while still in good standing should the indvisual to become "publicly reproved" or "marked" that this would also be an invitation for the local jw community to begin the same process of defaming the character of the person in question.. would anyone care to discuss your personall experience relating to any private information which became public knowledge after you left the jw community or any half truths that were deileberately propagated to tarnish your name in the vacinity of the kh.

and even worse yet blant lies that were imagined and promoted about you inorder to permanatently damage your character.. i would also be interested in who exactly you think were responsible for the iniation of these rumours.. was it the elders?

mrs rocky2

I find it so interesting that the gossip thing is so widespread. For the longest time I thought it was just the local congregation I was in. But hearing all these stories...
The rumors about us have been laughable, especially how I heard about them. One of my DA'd friends called me at work to tell me that a fade away sister had been told that my hubbie and I were getting a divorce. My DA'd friend knew this was the furthest thing from reality, and also found it extremely humourous.
The rumors about our children have been more annoying, but we've been putting up with gossip about them even when we were still associating. Non-witness kids have been correcting the Dub kids for spreading obvious lies about our youngest. One of her Dub classmates was spreading lies about her and a boyfriend over e-mail during class (she's too shy to have a boyfriend yet) when a non Dub classmate called the Dub child a liar. More lies about both kids circulating around the hall have been regarding their attendance in school. Rumor has it both have quit school, when in fact both are attending college classes, one at a University and one at a Junior college closeby. Why the congregation bothers with this stuff is beyond me. Don't know how they figure they can get away with such obvious lying - the community knows us well, knows our childrens' reputations. You would think the Dubs would try to build up their credibility, not tear it down. Guess that's part of why I left. I'd like to think I have more credibility than having to rely on gossip.